Our First Christmas

When I tell people that this is Derek and I's first Christmas together as husband and wife I get a lot of "awwwww, how lovely". Very few people say "Oh what an adventure this year will be" or "I hope you don't have any expectations" which ought to be the most common responses. Of course I had tons of expectations of plenty warm and fuzzy moments full of kisses by our beautifully lit Christmas tree, snuggling up together with hot chocolate by our fireplace and spending quality time while shopping for our friends and family. Those of you who have been married for atleast a year now are giggling as you read this. Outside of married life Christmas isn't always as warm and fuzzy as the carols describe and lets just be honest, very few families actually look forward to spending a whole day together. I've said a number of prayers asking for God's grace and forgiveness in advance before stepping foot in a family member's door for this most blessed time of year. As much as I look forward to Christmas and all it's traditions I can recall a many Christmas's when cutting down the tree was not as fun as I thought it would be and neither was decorating it. Driving long hours to spend the day with family was rather painful and taxing on everyone and after it was all said and done our family needed a vacation from our "vacation". So why, you're wondering, did I expect my first Christmas with my husband to be anything less than all the busy, tumultuous, and chaotic Christmas's before? When I figure that out I'll let you all know.
Our Christmas celebration began with our Christmas tree. I grew up on a farm in Illinois and have always decorated a real Christmas tree that usually my dad and I drove almost an hour to find and cut down. It was your traditional farm family Christmas. Dad would put a fire in the fire place that night and mom and I along with whoever of my siblings were home would help decorate. There were tasty treats sitting out for us to snack on and It's a Wonderful Life would usually be playing in the background. Decorating the tree is my favorite Christmas tradition and it took me a few weeks to even convince Derek that we were going to get a real tree. He always thought I was joking until one evening I brought it up for the 10th time and he understood that I was serious and said something like, "I just don't think that's feasible right now". I began to cry. My family members reading this right now are wincing, I'm sure. Bless his heart he had no idea how very important this was to me. Regardless the tears did the trick. He apologized almost immediately and explained that he just wasn't sure logistically how we were going to get a live tree into our apartment but if it meant that much to me we would find a way to make it work. He was probably right too. His mini cooper is not equipped to haul a live ever green and my Santa Fe is barely suitable. We didn't have a stand or very many ornaments, a tree topper, lights or a tree skirt. The only thing we did have going for us are tall ceilings in our average size apartment in the middle of suburbia.
So we planned a weekend to go to a tree farm and eventhough I didn't think he searched and planned as aggressively as he could've we did find a weekend and a time to go. It was a Saturday afternoon and that evening we were hosting an ugly sweater Christmas party and all our friends were coming over around 7pm. In Overland Park it was probably about 32 degrees that day but out on the flats of Kansas it felt like 15 and the wind was merciless. We spent almost an hour at the first place but had no luck. As it turns out this was the last year for that particular tree farm so they were completely picked over. We decided to leave empty handed. I was disappointed and once more the tears came. This time it didn't take tears for my knight to save the day. He was more determined than I was to find his girl her real evergreen for Christmas. I was ok with giving up and going back to prepare for the party eventhough I was bummed I knew I needed to be reasonable about my expectations. Derek however drove us around in an area he barely knew until we stumbled across another tree farm that looked very promising. Once again we carried around a saw in the freezing wind and dropping temperatures until we found our perfect tree and he was more than tolerant with my indecisiveness in the final decision. He seemed to be actually enjoying the time together and always asked me atleast 3 times, "Are you sure?" I'm certain there were moments he wished he hadn't asked and just cut but nonetheless we eventually found our tree and he cut down his first tree like he had done it every Christmas for years. As we drove away with a new tree stand, and our first Christmas tree as husband and wife tied to the roof of the Santa Fe we were both cheerful despite our frozen hands and cheeks and he even thought out loud that owning a Christmas Tree Farm in our retirement would be kinda fun. We barely had enough time to get ready for our party and put our tree in the stand before our guests arrived. The next day we decorated it with new lights, a big bow for the topper and the 20 ornaments we've acquired from family and friends growing up. Decorating it was definitely another opportunity for growth as it was less than the blissful day I had envisioned but I'll let you use your imagination about that since this post is already quite longer than the others. It's certainly not as beautiful as I envisioned but we've enjoyed many kisses next to it and our cat, Stella, frequently drinks it's water and ventures up it's branches. It hasn't fallen over yet, cross your fingers.
It's funny how once you get married you feel as if you instantly know your spouse so well and then events like Christmas come around and it's brought to your attention that you don't know them very well at all. There is always opportunities to grow in marriage and that's exactly how Derek and I have come to view our differences. Just as we did as single people when we faced trials and road blocks, we considered them opportunities to grow in our faith with Christ, and we did. He made sure of it. Now, as Christ has commanded us to liken our relationship with our spouse to that with him, we do the same as before and grow in faith and love when Christmas isn't always what we envisioned.